brooke's editorial

Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts?

We all know the 2009 safari convention season was down from previous years. Many hunters just stayed home rather than risk giving into the temptation of nyala, bongo or elephant. But those of us in the safari industry who have endured Black Monday, the early 90s, and the Dot-com implosion, know that hunters come back to hunting faster than a speeding bullet.

To hurry up the process, here’s a plan to build your hunting piggy bank in record time.

Use Everything You Have – Down to the Last Drop.
If you use all the salad dressings in the fridge, all the shampoos you’ve collected from good hotels, and all basmati, Arborio, brown, wild, yellow, jasmine, Uncle Ben’s Minute, and ‘gourmet blends’ of rice already in the cupboard, you’ll save enough for the trophy fee on impala or warthog.

Make your own list of Things I Probably Don’t Need to Buy for the Next Two Years.  Mine reads: Perfume (I already have a dozen); make-up (mine dates back to when good girls still wore blue eye shadow); hair products including shampoo (see above), foams, conditioners, masques, volumizers, mousse, gels and sprays; condiments, marinades, spice rubs, BBQ and hot sauces, vinegars and fancy jams; flavoured vodkas, obscure tequilas, bizarre liqueurs, artisanal margarita and Bloody Mary mixes; anything that goes into the sock or ‘undies’ drawer (we all have 20 pairs of tube socks).  No more linens, glassware or kitchen gadgets of any kind.  No more turtlenecks, jeans, or shoes (!). This easily covers nyala and sable.

Meal Planning 2009.
If you killed it or caught it and it’s still in the deep freezer:  EAT IT!
Forget about paying $24.99 per pound for a T-bone steak: Dig out the venison. This summer we ate the 60 mackerel we fished and got our Omega-3 fatty acids for free!  We still have enough wild boar, roe deer and wild ducks for 30 meals – the cost of a trophy zebra.  

Eat at Home. 
Preferably with candles, great South African wine, and cloth napkins (use all those animal napkin rings you buy every trip to Africa).  Forget the $17 martinis, $45 steaks, and $7 baked potatoes at Mickey Mantle’s. A pound of sea bass, organic spinach salad smothered in real blue cheese, and fresh berries splashed with Grey Goose vodka at home costs the same as one steakhouse steak – not including tip and tax! 

And if you do the dishes, your wife will give you what you want – for free. By eating at home, you not only improve the quality of family life, you control your portions, and reduce your salt and fat intake.  Savings over eating out will pay for a Cape buffalo – or even an elephant, if your entire family commits to bagging lunch.  

The MacMansion.
Turn the heat down!  Cardigans, cuddling, and hot water bottles save enough money to cover the trophy fee on leopard. 

The Latte Factor.
It’s really true.  At the Reno airport, Peet’s large coffee cost $2.05 to McDonald’s $1.79.  Unfortunately, I gave into Peet’s $3.85 medium cappuccino, but skipped the second margarita when I got stuck in Denver airport, and put the $12 in my trophy fee piggy bank instead. 

And if you all use the $249 Nespresso machine you bought at Christmas to fill your car cups, instead of driving five miles out of the way to Starbucks, it will buy you a lion. 

Smokers.
STOP!  Nobody can afford to smoke.  Do the math.  Go hunting instead.

A Last Word.
Mow your own lawn and clean your own pool.  It isn’t rocket science, and you’ll work off some inches while saving enough dough for both bongo and sitatunga.  And if you hang up your clothes, so your wife won’t have to take them to the dry cleaners for pressing, you’ve got your airfare covered. 

I bet we’ll see you on safari again – and sooner than you think.

Brooke
Editor, ASG

Editor's Note:  In case you started reading Lincoln Hughes amusing and well-told story, 'Rhino Revelation,' in ASG 14.3 and couldn't find the rest, we have a letter of apology from our printer who mistakenly placed these pages over 40-41 instead of 140-41, bouncing the balance of Mr. Hughes's story.

To read the story in its entirety - and you should, because Lincoln is one of our favourite contributors - please go to our website at www.africansportinggazette.com.

Apologies,
BCL